No
Sunday Paper
Not
in the basket, not on the dome, not in my wallet, I should have brought
a phone -
by Nick Clegg
It all started and ended one Sunday in South Carolina while I was employed by a dome company whose policy was - No working on Sunday. However, I only had one small task which required only one person. I thought to myself, "If I could just complete this one job on this one Sunday, it would save several man hours on Monday morning." So I justified breaking company policy by telling myself that in the long run I would be saving the company money. I kissed my wife good-bye and set out to complete my work and then go fishing.
I arrived at the jobsite, gathered my tools and climbed in the man basket. (This type of man lift is controlled from the man basket.) Since the basket was in the dome's center, I couldn't reach the top where I needed to work. I moved the lift toward the edge near my work area - approximately 50 feet off the ground, I stopped, shut off the lift, then assessed the needed work. When I was absolutely certain I had all necessary tools, I reached over to turn on the lift again. It wouldn't start.
Several million attempts later, it still wouldn't start. During weeks previous, visitors came in and out of the dome - at least a dozen a day. Knowing this, I sat down and waited for someone to rescue me. A short while later, it became evident I needed an aerial port-o-potty. I slowly turned, surveyed the area and, of course, saw no potty. I did the only thing I could do -I went number one over the edge. Relieved, I sat back down and waited.
More time passed - still no visitors. A short while later, I was again in need of an aerial potty - this time much more in need. Loud and continuous calls for help did no good. I waited, then waited and waited some more.
I began to feel bloated. Being a two-time tenderfoot scout, I looked around on my lift, in my wallet. Rat nasty - No paper! I looked down the boom. What seemed like an impossible climb just four hours earlier, was now an absolute necessary feat. I tied two lanyards to my harness and began the world's most painful decent. It only took a couple of minutes, but seemed like an eternity.
I did; however, set a land-speed running record to the outdoor honey hut. Eureka!! Paper!! Having lost my commitment to complete the job, I picked up my tools and went home.
My job was not complete, but I reached a new understanding of why we didn't work on Sundays - it will get you in the end.
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